Updated: May 17, 2022
I noticed recently; I was buying into people's stories. I can't afford you, I don't have time, and I believed them. I was taught to have empathy, I felt empathy. While I bought into their stories, I was sinking, I was reducing prices to accommodate, I was creating time out of my work schedule to see clients. Usually that is great, meet people where they are at. To the point, I began to get notices of late payments to my bills, no longer making time for my kids to have work. I bought in to their stories and changed mine. I was close to losing my apartment, my kids resented me for not being available and I had to re-evaluate. When I began to notice my client's stories, they were all better off than me. They were usually married with 2 incomes, if not married, they had child support or if a spouse passed, social security, and they lived in their comfortable homes, while I was not ok.
I had to learn, their stories are actually beliefs, just like I had my own beliefs sabotaging me. Could they not afford, do they want to invest in themselves? do they see their worth to invest in themselves. I know my worth, yet they made me question it. That's how we show up in life, we invest in what is important, nails, eyelashes, coloring the hair, cars, houses, iphones, yet our health is the last on the line. Eyelashes, nails, phones, computers cars, and other toys need replacements, upgrades. Yet, once we begin our health journey, when we address the root, we minimize many other health risks, just by addressing small things in coaching.
I would get text for free support and use up my energy and time, they don't have time, or money so they took mine, my energy my time. This didn't add up. Now, just so you know, I love it. I love devoting to others, I love sharing my knowledge. Yet, there has to be a balance. When I began my healing, truly began my healing, I invested in alot. Coaching costed me the first round was about $1200, then $3000. I didn't have it, but I knew I needed to grow so I stopped eating out, I didn't cut my hair for a year, no nails, still don't do these things often, and cut many expenses, to make my health a priority. My mental and physical health. It changed my life completely.
Truth is, when we tell a story, we make it a reality or our truth, we block not only blessing, but we manifest the beliefs that have been running the show in our lives for years. Scarcity, there is not enough for me. I used to not care about getting paid, until I lost everything, literally everything. My home, my children saw me stressed so they preferred being with their dad. Things had to change. My beliefs about my worth, my beliefs about abundance, my beliefs about good enough.
I get clients who also tell me, I am not ready to go deep. I can't handle seeing my shadow, or my inner child. Those are just stories we tell ourselves to keep us save. We already experienced the worse, judging and abandoning the Self, now we actually get to love on Self, have compassion and love. Can't be that scary right? I see it as the most beautiful experience of intimacy anyone can have within themselves.
There is definitely power in our words. There is power in your thoughts, there is power in how you embody your life, how you carry yourself believing what you know is truth. I had to change my story. My worth needed to be embodied within me. When I began to give myself a voice, speak my truth, embody my worth, life began to change. It is still changing.
What is blocking your blessings? What is blocking your growth?