Updated: Feb 12, 2022
Communication can be tricky! Many tell me, "Oh I speak my truth often," or "I share my feelings all the time." Yet when they give me examples of what they said, they do not see they were blaming, putting others down, being defensive or inviting a fight. "I will be completely honest with you, you hurt me," is an example of blaming, making someone wrong. What we truly want to say, is "honestly, I was truly hurt when xyz happened."
First step is owning the feeling, because truly only you feel it, the other person does not feel what you feel. Second step is owning the experience, when this happened, I felt this. Third step is not expecting an outcome, we share to share.
What I have learned is, when we speak our truth by owning our experience and feelings, allows the other person to see you. They will either have to step up and own their own behavior, actions, words etc to see their own mirror or avoid the mirror and not see themselves or you. At times this is due to avoiding feeling. Yet, speaking our truth, feelings and experiences is not with a purpose or to have an outcome, rather authentically sharing your truth for your inner voice to be seen by you, for inner freedom. This creates true intimacy with Self and intimacy with others. .